


If Living Was The Hardest Part

by MidnightCircus



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Murder, Past Rape/Non-con, Suicide Attempt, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 08:11:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4214538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightCircus/pseuds/MidnightCircus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard decides that tonight he will end his life. The unexpected death of his girlfriend a few months ago and the constant taunts and verbal abuse from his family have pushed him to breaking point. His plan however is ruined when a mysterious stranger enters his life. Can Gerard finally find happiness or will secrets and lies destroy them all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was posted on Mibba in 2007.

 

**Chapter one**

'Another beer, please' he asked, leaning across the bar to make sure he was heard.  
  
'No problem' shouted the barmaid over the loud music.  
  
He ruffled through his pockets for money and handed it over to the petite blonde.  
  
'Haven't seen you here before' she smiled 'you new to these parts?'  
  
'No... just fancied a change of scenery' he replied, brushing a lock of black hair from his eyes.  
  
'Well, nice to meet you' she said with a giggle 'my name's Lauren' she held out her hand for a greeting but the stranger just smiled slightly and turned away, making his way to a booth in the corner of the bar.  
  
He wasn't in the mood for conversation. He wasn't in the mood for anything anymore really. He'd been coming to these random bars for the last few months, ever since she died. Anything to keep from going home and facing his mother. All she ever did was nag him.  
  
'Why don't you get a job like your brother, Gerard!'  
'Your definitely your fathers child - a complete waste of space!'  
'Look at yourself, covered in make-up, no wonder ...' she would always stop then, but he knew what she wanted to say, 'no wonder Danielle killed herself!'  
  
Danielle was his first proper girlfriend. They had been together for 2 years and had so many plans and then... well, then she was dead. She jumped off the bridge over the river. No one knew why. No note. Nothing. A part of him died too that day. He felt empty. He'd always been different, he knew that. But that's why she loved him, wasn't it? A tear fell down his pale cheek, landing on his black denim jeans. He sighed and continued with his cold beer, trying to fill the void inside.  
  
'I'll just finish it tonight' he thought 'I'll go to the park where me and Mikey used to play and I’ll finish it'!  
  
He ruffled through his pockets again and found it; his old penknife. He flicked open the blade and watched it shine in the dim light of the bar. It looked inviting. He thought of it slicing through the veins that laced his wrists and he felt the need for it… he wanted death to come... he invited it.  
  
Just then his thoughts were broken by the click of the jukebox across the room. One of his favorite songs broke through the speakers... 'Nervous Breakdown' by Black Flag.  
  
He looked up and there at the jukebox stood a man a little shorter than himself. He had his back to Gerard but his dark brown hair and tight black jeans held his gaze. Just then the man turned around and looked straight at him and smiled. Gerard's felt his heart skip a beat and looked down quickly, back to the knife that lay in his hands.  
  
When the song had finished he slowly raised his eyes but the man had gone. He glanced around the bar but the stranger was nowhere to be seen. He reached for his packet of cigarettes that lay on the table in front of him and placed one in between his lips, only now realising that his hands were shaking.  
  
'Oh come on Gee, get a grip' he thought.  
  
He looked round the table for his lighter, then his pockets; nothing.  
  
'Shit' he cursed.  
  
Just then a hand came from the left.  
  
'Allow me' said a soft voice and the flame from a lighter flashed before his cigarette.  
  
He lit it without even glancing up, inhaling the thick smoke like it was a much needed intake of oxygen.  
  
'Thanks' he mumbled looking up, and there before him stood the man from the jukebox.  
  
Gerard felt himself jump slightly in surprise and a chill ran down his spine.  
  
'Do you mind if I join you?' the man asked.  
  
Company was the last thing Gerard wanted but there was something about this guy, he just could not say no.  
  
'Sure' Gerard said nervously and shuffled over the cushioned seat.  
  
'I'm Frank by the way' he held out his hand for a shake and Gerard noticed the many tattoos which covered his arm.  
  
'Gerard' he replied and shook Frank’s hand, it was icy cold but Gerard still felt a warm feeling come over him. He felt himself start to blush and took another long drag from his cigarette.  
  
'Oh sorry, would you like one' Gerard offered Frank one of his Marlboro’s and he accepted with a smile. God what a smile, though Gerard, it was amazing. It made him feel completely comfortable, like nothing he had felt before, well… not since Danielle.  
  
'So…' Frank said turning to face him 'what are you doing in a place like this? I haven't seen you here before'.  
  
'Umm… I… I just fancied somewhere new' Gerard replied, trying not to stare too much at his company.  
  
But Frank’s eyes caught Gerard’s gaze and he could hardly tear himself away, they were beautiful; big, brown, so soft and almost child like. He felt himself melt into them... but no.. no, he looked down quickly. Thoughts rushed through Gerard’s head. What was he doing, he didn't know this guy, how could he feel so drawn to him? And also... this was a GUY! He wasn't gay! But the thought still swept through him, no matter how hard he tried to stop it; this guy was beautiful.  
  
'Well, I hope I see more of you Gerard' he said softly, standing up.  
  
'Yeah, sure...' Gerard replied nervously, but when he looked up Frank was gone.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Gerard quickly finished what was left of his beer and butted out his cigarette. He knew it was time to go and carry out his plan.  
  
He exited the bar and made his way down the cold, dark street. The wind blew in his hair and the leaves seemed to dance around his feet. He felt a chill run down his spine as he thought about what he was about to do. He walked for about 10 minutes then stopped when he found what he had been looking for; the park.  
  
It was deserted; well, it was around midnight. He walked over to the bench and took out his penknife. Sitting down slowly he still couldn't shake the image of Frank from his mind. Why did this guy make him feel so different? Oh well, it didn't matter now. This was the end. The blade shone in the moonlight and Gerard thought of Danielle. What had made her do it? Was it something he had said? Something he did? Well, he would see her soon and all of his questions would be answered.  
  
He bought the blade to his wrist and felt the sting as he pressed down slightly. Blood dripped on to his jeans. He started to drag it across but was startled by a rustling of leaves. He looked up quickly, dropping the knife, startled to see Frank standing there looking at him.  
  
'Why would you want to end such a beautiful life?' asked Frank, walking towards him.  
  
'Don't bother trying to talk me out of it Frank' mumbled Gerard nervously 'I've made up my mind'.  
  
'Maybe you should sleep on it, hey? Death isn't all its cracked up to be' he sat next to Gerard and placed his hand on his thigh.  
  
'I don't need to sleep on it!' cried Gerard 'I know it's what I need to do!'  
  
'You're just tired' Frank said softly 'I can see it in your eyes' he lifted Gerard’s chin to catch his gaze. His hazel eyes were filled with tears.  
  
'I'm not tired Frank! I’m not...I’m... not...' he felt his eyelids getting heavy and, before he knew it, everything was dark.

.................................... 

 

Gerard awoke, adjusting his eyes to the dark room around him. It was unfamiliar but strangely he felt safe. Candles illuminated the dark walls. He was sure they were red, but the dim light kept him guessing.  
  
He sat up a bit more to study his surroundings, only now feeling the sting of his wrist. The room was mainly empty, only a few chairs lined one wall and a huge, ornate fireplace dominated another. The large windows were covered by long, draping curtains and he lay on a silky chaise longue. This place was darkly strange, alluring even. Truly gothic.  
  
All this observing had pushed obvious questions to the back of his mind but they sprang straight forward when he heard a clock chime; DONG, DONG, DONG!  
  
'Three?' He thought 'I left the bar at midnight! Where the hell am I? Why was I asleep? I hadn't drunk that much… had I?'  
  
Just then he heard the creek of a door opening behind him and he spun around in fear to see who was entering the room.  
  
Out of the shadows he slowly made out the persons features. Dark hair, nose and lip ring, big brown eyes... Frank! He sighed in relief. God knows why, Frank could be an axe murderer for all he knew, but his presence calmed Gerard and he felt safe again.  
  
'How... how did I get here?' he struggled to ask, turning round to face Frank, 'and where are we?'  
  
'This is my home' explained Frank, walking over to sit beside him. Frank’s hand brushed his and Gerard felt himself blush at his touch.  
  
'I hope you don't mind' he said calmly 'but you fell asleep in the park and I didn't want to just leave you there, I thought it best I bring you here'.  
  
His voice was soothing and although Gerard had only known Frank the best part of 4 hours, he felt as though he had known him for a life time.  
  
'Funny' replied Gerard looking at the small cut on his wrist, 'I didn't think I was tired… I hope I wasn't any trouble'.  
  
'Don't be stupid' he said smiling 'It's nice to have some company'.  
  
'It's quite embarrassing though' Gerard said, feeling himself blush again.  
  
'You do that a lot' Frank smirked.  
  
'What?' Gerard replied sharply looking up.  
  
'Blush'  
  
Frank moved closer to him as he said this, making Gerard’s heart skip a beat.  
  
'Oh... I... umm... I’m sorry' Gerard stuttered, not knowing what to say or do. He looked down at his hands in his lap nervously.  
  
He felt Frank's hand lift his chin to face him.  
  
'It's cute' he said with a smile.  
  
Gerard felt himself melt. He did not know if it was because of what Frank had just said to him, or if it was the amazing glow of the big brown eyes peering back at him, but right then he knew he had no control... Frank was mesmerising, and he wanted him.  
  
'Wine?' Frank said, still holding him with his eyes.  
  
'Uh… yeah, sure, please' Gerard shook himself out of his daze. Frank filled a glass with a dark looking liquid... 'red' he thought again... 'must be red wine. It's so dark in here'.  
  
He took a sip and then placed it on the table next to him.  
  
'Gerard' Frank almost whispered, placing his hands on his.  
  
Gerard looked up into Franks eyes again. His face was illuminated by the candlelight making him look even paler.  
  
'I cannot believe how lucky I was to find you tonight' Frank said.  
  
Gerard could not even speak, he was lost in Frank's eyes again, they had some powerful spell over him. Before he even registered Frank moving he felt his lips against his own. They were cold but he didn't care, they were Franks. The most beautiful man he had ever seen was kissing him! He lost himself in the feeling, letting their tongues dance together. It felt like they were kissing forever, Frank’s tongue moved around Gerard's mouth, passionate but gentle... just perfect.  
  
As he felt Frank pull away he opened his eyes and smiled, then as his mind rushed back to him he realised they were no longer on the chaise longue, somehow they were in a new room altogether.  
  
The walls looked the same; same colour, same curtains, but this was a bedroom. A large wardrobe stood in one corner and now he lay on a bed. A bed covered in silky black sheets. They were soft and sexy and they made him feel... he shook his head again trying to bring sense to everything.  
  
'How? What...' he looked around and then back to Frank who was laying on his side next to him, his head propped up on one arm.  
  
'How?' is all Gerard could manage to say. He didn't know what else to say without sounding crazy!  
  
'Magic' Frank replied with a wink.  
  
Gerard looked at him open mouthed. Frank smirked back and he was gorgeous and those eyes and... no, snap out of it Gerard! This is weird... what is going on? He thought. His mind was racing with the nights events and he could not make sense of any of it!  
  
He got up to leave, to run even, he felt fear surge through him. Then just as he started to move he felt a cold grip on his arm and he landed back on the bed with a bounce. Before he could even think of moving again Frank had pounced on top of him, and pinned him down. He could not move. All he could do was stare up at him. Gerard pleaded with his eyes to be let go but no words came out of his mouth, he was too scared.  
  
Frank's smirk, that had not moved this whole time, suddenly faded. A look of sadness washed over his face and he clambered off him and sat with his head in his hands next to him.  
  
'Go. I.. I'm sorry' he heard him say quietly 'I just thought… for once… that... never mind'  
  
Gerard turned on the bed to leave. He knew he should go, run for his life even! Weird things were happening here, unexplainable things. But something held him back.  
  
He felt bad for Frank. He felt as though he had been rude to him, had insulted him by being afraid. Somehow he cared for Frank, even... no... you can't love someone you have only just met! But the feeling was strong and he knew he couldn’t leave - even if it was the wrong decision.  
  
'I'm sorry' Gerard said, moving across the bed to stroke Franks back, 'I don't know what came over me. I was just shocked is all... I, I'm sorry'.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

Frank looked up slowly, his bright eyes met Gerard's again as he leaned in for a kiss. It was soft at first, gentle and warm. Gerard felt Frank's hand move to his cheek as he slowly moved his tongue against his. Then Frank twisted around, gently pushing Gerard back down on to the bed and resuming his position on top. The kiss soon got quicker and deeper and Gerard felt his stomach flip with anticipation.   
  
Gerard took Frank's hand, which was still at his cheek, and moved it lower. He stopped it at his hip and he felt Frank's breathing shallow. What was he doing? Gerard wasn't even sure himself, but it felt right and he couldn't fight his desire any longer. He moved his own hands down Frank's back and pulled at his top. He sat up and pulled it off himself; god even Frank's body was perfect and he felt his eyes trace across the tattoos which covered his chest and stomach.  
  
Frank's hands helped Gerard out of his shirt and he felt himself getting hotter by the second. Frank moved his hands down Gerards chest, never breaking eye-contact. Gerard felt his trousers growing tight as Frank kissed slowley from his lips down to his neck. It felt amazing, like nothing he had ever felt before and...  
  
'Shit!' Gerard flinched in pain, he tried to move but Frank had him pinned down. He felt the warm feeling of blood trickle down his neck. What the hell was Frank doing?!  
  
Suddenly Frank bolted up right 'Oh god, i'm so sorry Gerard, I... I got carried away.. I...' blood was smeared across his mouth and down his chin.  
  
Gerard stared wide-eyed at Frank. 'Did he bite me?' he thought. 'No, surely not!' He tried to sit up to hold Frank but his head felt light.   
  
'I'm so sorry... I, I don't know what to say...' Frank jumped up off Gerard with sorrow in his eyes. 'I... I've gotta go... shit!'. And in the blink of an eye he was gone.

Gerard slowly got up off the bed. ‘Frank?’ he called. His voice seemed to echo in the now empty room.   
  
Just then he felt a breeze against his chest and the curtains blew in the wind. God, he didn't jump out of the window did he? No, he would have broken his legs, or worse! He peered out into the night, no sign of Frank. Tonight had been so strange, confusion clouded Gerard's mind. Just then he felt dizzy and had to hold himself up on the bed. All he knew was that he wanted to see Frank again. He had to see Frank again.  
  
He searched the room for paper and a pen, which he found in a small desk by the bed. He wrote simply:  
  
_Frank_  
  
_I'm sorry you felt the need to leave so suddenly. I don't care about what happened. Tonight I felt more alive than I have in months. I would like to see you again, if you want to that is._  
  
_Gerard xoxo_  
  
He scribbled his address at the bottom of the note and left it on the pillow. Then he carefully made his way through the house and out of the front door, into the night.

**..........................................**

 

Gerard awoke in his own room, the sun piercing through the gap in his blinds. Damn, he felt rough! He lifted himself up on his shoulders and felt a twinge of pain in his neck. Had he slept on it funny? He reached his hand up and rubbed at it. 'Fuck!' he yelled as he felt the sting of the open wound. He jumped out of bed, ran over to his mirror and felt a chill run down his spine when he saw his reflection. It hadn't been a dream after all. On the left side of his throat were two puncture wounds, like the ones he'd seen so often in his favorite movies... vampire movies. 'No' he thought, 'that's ridiculous... vampires are not real!'.  
  
There was still a lot of dried blood covering his neck and chest so he decided to jump in the shower before anyone saw him. The water stung his neck and wrist but it didn't bother Gerard much, he was too busy going over last nights events in his mind. He got out of the shower and chucked on some jeans and an old t-shirt.  
  
'Gerard!' he heard his mother call from the kitchen upstairs 'Breakfast!'  
  
He looked in the mirror quickly again, 'shit' he thought, 'how the hell am i gonna cover this thing up?'  
  
He rooted around in the bottom of his wardrobe and finally pulled out a grey and black stripy scarf. He wrapped it around his neck, covering the wound. This would have to do. He ran up the stairs of his basement room but had to stop at the top to catch his breath and stop his head spinning. How much blood had he lost last night?? This was all too crazy!  
  
As he entered the kitchen his brother Mikey was already digging into some pancakes and his mum was washing up.  
  
'Late one again was it?' his mother said disapprovingly, not even looking at him. 'Drinking your life away, just like your father!' Gerard had heard this so many times now, but today it didn't bother him, he had too many other things to think about.  
  
'And what the hell are you wearing?' she was looking at him now 'You look like a fucking tramp! Take that off!' she tried to pull at the scarf but Gerard backed away holding it in place.  
  
'No' he yelled 'I'm cold is all'  
  
'He's probably hiding a hickey under there' Mikey said smirking 'forgotten about Danielle so soon?' his voice taunted Gerard. He always knew exactly what to say to wind him up, god he wanted to smack the smile right off Mikey's face! He never would though, his mum would kick him out. Mikey was her little angel, he had her wrapped around his little finger. Gerard hated it. He may have looked like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth but behind the sweet exterior he was a real bastard to Gerard. Any opportunity to piss him off he took, and he always did it with a smile.

**....................................**...

 

Gerard felt the cold March breeze on his face. He just couldn’t stay in the house any longer. His mum and brother were driving him crazy. Constant taunts and questions; he just couldn’t face that at the moment!  
  
He stood in his backyard and lit a cigarette, letting the nicotine calm his nerves. There were just so many things on his mind, he was shaking with the stress of it all. He thought of Frank. Of how he woke up at his place, the way they were suddenly in his bedroom and the bite - obviously he couldn’t forget that!! He just hoped that Frank had gotten his note. He didn’t know why but there was something about this guy. He made him forget all the hurt and pain of the last few months. He really wanted to see him again… even if he had no idea what he was letting himself in for!  
  
He took a few more drags when he heard the door open behind him. He rolled his eyes as he knew it would be his mum or brother up for ripping him into a few more pieces!  
  
‘Hey’ Mikey said quietly.  
  
Gerard turned round to face his brother. He was waiting for some harsh remark, but none came.  
  
‘I’m sorry for what I said just then’ Mikey said looking at the floor. Gerard just stared open mouthed at his sibling.  
  
‘I didn’t mean it, I just like to wind you up is all!’  
  
Gerard felt a tug of guilt in his chest. Maybe Mikey wasn’t all bad.  
  
‘That’s OK’ Gerard replied quietly ‘It’s cool’.  
  
‘Good’ Mikey said earnestly. ‘I would hate for you to dislike me. You know... I’m really sorry about Danielle and everything. I just wish there was something I could do to make you realise it wasn’t your fault’  
  
Gerard couldn’t believe that Mikey was being so sympathetic to his problems. Hope filled him, hope that he and Mikey could be close again. Close like they once had been.  
  
‘I mean’ Mikey continued ‘I thought you two were so in love, but, I guess she just realised exactly what you were… a complete fag!!’  
  
Mikey’s tone changed at the end of his last remark and Gerard’s mind reeled as he realised that this was all just a cruel game to get close to him. With his guard down he felt Mikey pull off his scarf in one swift movement. He just stood their staring, and Gerard could not even bring himself to hide his wound. Then Mikey burst out laughing.  
  
‘Oh my god Gee, I didn’t thing you could get any more pathetic!’ he yelled ‘But this! What the fuck! Are you not getting enough attention being drunk all the time you thought you would pretend you were one of the undead!!’  
  
His laughter continued, it penetrated Gerard's ears and made him shiver. He had actually believed that maybe his brother cared. Foolish mistake.  
  
‘Ah well’ he thought ‘I guess I’m alone. As usual’


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

Night time fell in the Way household. Gerard had been locked in his room for the past few hours. He didn’t want to even see his brother after what he had said to him. Even though last nights events were still fresh in his mind Mikey’s comment had made him doubt his own sanity. He was ready to kill himself in the park, to end it all. Then suddenly he was making out with a vampire! He started to think maybe it was all make believe. Maybe he had lost it. Maybe he was just ‘pathetic’.  
  
As it closed in on midnight Gerard’s eyes began to close. He was so tired. His mind raced with all that had happened in the past few months but he could not shake Frank’s face from his dreams, he could even feel him. He felt Frank touch his face and shivered. He felt his breath on his neck. It all seemed so real.  
  
‘I got your note’ Frank whispered in Gerard’s ear.  
  
‘Shit!’ He nearly jumped out of his skin as he realised that it hadn’t been a dream. Frank was in his bedroom. Sat right in front of him. His heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know if it was through fear or the fact that Frank’s white T-shirt was practically see-through. It must have been raining.  
  
‘Christ Frank!’ yelled Gerard ‘You scared the shit out of me!’  
  
‘Sorry’ Frank replied not looking into his eyes ‘I found your note... I just wanted to apologise… and explain’  
  
Gerard pushed himself up in his bed so he was sat upright. He had to hear this. There had to be some logical explanation. Maybe he just got carried away in the heat of the moment and bit him. He tried to concentrate on what Frank was saying. He looked so beautiful in the dim light of his room. The light glistened in his wet hair and his eyes seemed to glow. He tried to fight the tingle in his stomach.  
  
‘I am a vampire’ Frank exclaimed bluntly.  
  
Ok, Gerard thought, that was not what I expected. This guy has to be crazy!  
  
‘I have been watching you for a while’ Frank continued ‘I… I just wanted to talk to you. I could see your sorrow… your pain. It touched me. I thought you were so beautiful, how can someone as beautiful as you feel so alone?’  
  
Gerard felt a lump form in his throat. He felt like crying and he didn’t know why. This guy made him feel so secure. Loved even. He was the only person he had felt close to since Danielle, but that also scared him.  
  
‘When I saw you in the park I just had to stop you’ Frank wasn’t even looking at him now. He was just pulling at his lip ring with his teeth. ‘I couldn’t let you do it. I didn’t want to loose you’  
  
As Gerard looked up to reply he saw the emotion in Franks eyes and any fear that was left was quickly forgotten. He didn’t even think. He just took Franks head in his hands and kissed him. It was soft and loving. He closed his eyes and felt his body warm with happiness.  
  
When they had finished their embrace they just looked at each other, neither one knowing what to say. It took a few minute before Gerard opened his mouth to speak.  
  
‘So… are you seriously saying you’re a vampire?’  
  
Frank smirked slightly at this question and then he disappeared. Gerard could not believe his eyes. One second he was there then he was gone. Then he felt a tap on his shoulder from behind him. He jumped around as fast as he could and there, to his amazement, was Frank.  
  
‘See’ he said proudly ‘could I do that if I was mortal?’  
  
Gerard couldn’t believe it. It was just... amazing… and a little exciting!

**......................................**

 

They talked for hours. Gerard found out that Frank had become a vampire in the summer of 1980, so he was relatively young in vampire terms. He was a proper punk back then and had been attacked while walking home after a Black Flag concert in New York. He didn’t know who made him, he was just left to fend for himself, not sure even why he wasn’t left for dead.  
  
He went through the good points of his life with Gerard. The eternal youth of course was a bonus, and the speed and strength was also kind of cool. He couldn’t really fly, but he could jump really high and glide down from great heights without a problem. He could also read minds to a certain extent. He would get a brief flicker of peoples thoughts but this, he explained, would develop over the years. It would take around 200 years for any real powers to develop. On top of this he had become quite good at slight mind control, although it only really worked if the person was vulnerable - he reminded Gerard of when he made him sleep in the park the other night.  
  
Gerard just stared in wonder as Frank casually outlined his existence. It was such a relaxed conversation, as though Frank was just explaining something dull and mundane, not that he was confirming the very existence of the undead!!!  
  
Frank then moved on to the more negative things about his existence. Of course he could not be touched by sunlight or he would burn. Fire was also a problem and a stake through the heart would definitely end him. Apart from that crosses, garlic and mirrors were all false myths.  
  
"Above all the negatives" frank said "the hardest thing is the loneliness. I have spent 27 years alone. All I can do is watch the world go by. Let me just say that the undead do have a soul, and it hurts like hell everyday in the hope that I could be human again. Just to share my life with someone I cared about, just to wake up in someone’s arms… but hey listen to me babbling on… enough about me… what about you?"  
  
Gerard couldn’t really comprehend what he had heard. He just never thought that a vampire would be so human.  
  
"Well" he started slowly "their isn’t really much to tell" Gerard tried to avoid anything that would involve him having to discuss the past.  
  
"Listen Gerard" Frank said softly placing a hand over his companions "I don’t want to force you to talk about something you don’t want to but I have just told you that I am a vampire. All I want to know is what got you so down you were willing to end it all in the park the other night?"  
  
Gerard fidgeted nervously on his bed. He chewed at his already short nails. He had never discussed this with anyone. Of course people knew but he had just avoided talking about the subject in the fear that he would just break down.  
  
"Well…" he started, looking into Frank’s hazel eyes. "It all started about six months ago. I had been with my girlfriend Danielle for a year. We were in love, well… I thought we were. We discussed getting out of this town together, making a home. Then one day I got home and Mikey, that’s my brother, told me to go down to the river. I asked him why and he told me Danielle was there. I was a bit confused but went anyway. When I got there police were everywhere. I spoke to an officer and they told me that a young girl had jumped off the bridge."  
  
Gerard felt the lump building in his throat but forced himself to continue.  
  
"I asked who it was but they said they could not disclose that information. That’s when I saw the body, they were just zipping up the black body bag but I managed to see her face. It was Danielle."  
  
The tears were flowing down Gerard’s cheeks now.  
  
"They never found a suicide note, nothing. I just could not believe that she would do that and that I had never noticed any signs. A part of me blames myself. It doesn’t help that my mum and Mikey never let me forget it either. That’s why I tried to end it in the park. But I guess you are my saviour"  
  
Gerard managed a small smile as he wiped the tears off his cheeks. Franks leaned in and kissed them away.  
  
"I’m sorry" he whispered. "I’m here for you now… if you’ll have me".


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

They lay there in each others arms that night, Gerard resting his head on Frank’s chest. He lay there listening to the silence of Frank’s heart, and although it was quite bizarre that there was no rhythmic beating there, he felt more comfortable than he ever had. Soon he was in a peaceful sleep.  
  
Gerard moaned as the light of the morning came piercing through his bedroom window. He jumped up quickly but Frank was nowhere to be seen. He slapped his forehead as he realised that there was no way Frank would be here at this time, he would be burnt to a cinder if he dare hang around after dawn.  
  
The morning was at best agonising for Gerard. As he left his room for his regular morning shower he was faced with Mikey and his usual smirking face. He grunted in frustration and tried to barge past him.  
  
"So…" Mikey started.  
  
Gerard just rolled his eyes and turned to face his spiteful brother.  
  
"Who were you talking to last night? I could hear you blabbing on till god knows what hour!"  
  
"No one Mikey, just leave me alone OK!" Gerard started to turn away when he felt a tight grip on his wrist.  
  
"Don’t fucking turn your back on me Gee! I asked you a question! Are you still keeping up the old ‘I was bitten by a vampire shit!’ You're pathetic!"  
  
"Haven’t you got anything better to do Mikey? I wasn’t talking to anyone last night OK! I went straight to sleep at midnight! You must have been dreaming or something!"  
  
"You know…" Mikey moved closer to Gerard, backing up against the wall till there faces were only inches apart. "I don’t understand how your mind works". He jabbed his finger at Gerard’s temple. "I mean, you do realise that no one gives a fuck about you, don’t you? So why are you searching for attention that you are never gonna get? Why don’t you just stop mopping around like a complete loser and get over Danielle already! You know she only went out with you cause she felt sorry for you don’t you? Yeah, she told me once! Sorry to tell you Gee, but no one loves you, I wouldn’t miss you if you died tomorrow!"  
  
With those brutal words Mikey pushed Gerard away from him and laughed callously.  
  
Before Mikey could say any more Gerard rushed to the bathroom and locked the door, trying to ignoring his brothers venomous shouts.  
  
As Gerard let the warm water run over his body he sunk down to his knees and let himself silently cry till he had no tears left to shed.

**...........................................**

 

It seemed like the sun had purposely taken its time to set that night. Gerard felt like every inch of his body was just aching to see Frank.  
  
He could not believe how much he had opened up to Frank last night. Never before had he felt so at ease with someone. It was kind of funny that it ended up being a vampire that coaxed Gerard into talking about past troubles.  
  
He tried to busy himself in the hope that Frank would come to his room once more. He made himself comfortable in his bed, plumping up his pillows behind him so he could sit in an upright position. He was sat in his bed sketching random things when he felt a cool breeze and saw his curtains suddenly blow furiously through the corner of his eye. He snapped his head up to see Frank stood at the foot of his bed, shinning that all too perfect grin of his!  
  
Gerard could not help but mirror that smile as he threw his drawing materials to the side and jumped up to enclose Frank in a tight embrace.  
  
He held onto Frank for a little longer than was comfortable, so Frank slowly cupped Gerard’s cheeks in his hands and guided him into his view.  
  
"Are you OK Gerard?" he asked with concern flickering in his eyes.  
  
"I’ve just had a shit day is all" Gerard replied "It’s OK now that you are here though".  
  
And that was the moment that something clicked, call it a spark if you like. Most of you know what it feels like. It’s kind of difficult to put into words. Lets just say butterflies in your stomach, a flutter in your heart or a tingle in your skin. That was the moment that Frank and Gerard’s eyes met and all the world was lost in that one glance. It was just the two of them.  
  
Frank was still holding Gerard’s face, slowly he pulled him closer and their lips softly touched in a delicate kiss.  
  
Nothing else mattered as this delicate embrace gradually developed into a heated clinch. Their mouths slowly allowed the invasion of the others tongue. It was sweet and it was right. Gerard let his hands travel up Franks toned back, grasping at his tight black top as the room seemed to get hotter by the second.  
  
Gerard’s mind was racing with confusing thoughts. Just three nights ago he thought he was straight and here he was kissing another man. But he knew he had deep feelings for Frank and at that moment it felt like this wasn’t about what sex Frank was, he was simply just Frank.  
  
Soon Gerard and Frank were both topless, letting their hands caress each others soft torsos with gentle strokes. Frank slowly pushed Gerard back until his legs hit the side of his bed. Before he knew it he was led down with Frank straddling his waist. Gerard was still quite conscious of his neck so he attacked Frank’s with soft kisses before the other could make his way to the area.  
  
Soon their hands were wondering to each others trousers, Gerard struggling to free Frank from his tight black jeans. Frank on the other hand had no trouble at all. In a quick swipe Gerard’s jeans were on the floor.  
  
"Well" Frank smirked "there had to be some benefits to my speed!  
  
Gerard tried to withhold a giggle as he finally got Franks zip down and gently worked his jeans off his legs.  
  
Their boxers came off shortly after in a very similar fashion. Gerard could not stop the kinky thoughts racing through his mind every time Frank used his abilities to complete a task in superhuman speed.  
  
They carried on kissing passionately for a while, letting the feel of naked flesh against naked flesh sink in. They writhed around on the bed, completely entwined in each other when Gerard took a deep breath and let his hand travel further down to enclose Franks cock.  
  
"Mmmmm… that feels amazing... are you sure you want this though? I know you have never... umm... been with a guy before"  
  
‘Damn him and his mind reading!’ Gerard thought. "Yeah... I know I don’t have... experience... but I know this is what I want. I am more sure than I ever have been about anything. I just… I just want to feel you inside of me Frankie"  
  
"Do you have any… you know…ummm, lubrication or anything" Frank asked blushing.  
  
Gerard couldn’t help but laugh a little. I mean, here was a vampire, something that was thought of as completely deadly, blushing whilst he asked him for lube.  
  
"Yeah, in the drawer there... I think I have something"  
  
Frank made his way to the drawer and found what he was looking for. He coated himself in the lubrication and added more to his fingers. He made his way back to Gerard who was just watching him.  
  
"This might hurt a little at first" Frank explained "I promise it will get better though"  
  
He slid his index finger into Gerard slowly, Gerard just breathed slowly and after a minute asked for more. Frank added a second finger and carefully stretched Gerard’s entrance. The feeling was more uncomfortable than painful and Gerard just tried to relax. After a few minutes with three fingers Gerard found himself pushing down on to Frank’s fingers wanting more.   
  
"Ready?" Frank asked "If it really hurts just say, I don’t want to hurt you"

Gerard just nodded silently.  
  
Slowly he pushed into him. A slight squeal came from Gerard. Their eyes said it all though and Frank let him get used to the sensation. After a slight nod from the other Frank gently started to build up a rhythm, pumping in and out, very slowly at first.  
  
After a few minutes Gerard started moaning, not through pain but through pleasure. Frank then sped up the pace. He slammed into Gerard until he heard him scream.  
  
"Oh my god, right there, whatever you just did please do it agai..aahhhhhhh….yeah, that’s it… right thereeeee……."  
  
Frank pushed himself into Gerard watching the him yell in pleasure. He took Gerard’s cock into his hand and started pumping in time with his own thrusts.  
  
"God Gerard" he moaned "You…you are…just... amazing"  
  
They came together that night… the first night they had ever slept together… the first night Gerard knew what it was like to really be in love.  
  
.............................................

  
  
Later that night...  
  
Gerard’s mum, Donna, had been out most of the night with her new and awful boyfriend Chris.  
  
She rushed in trying to find money for the taxi she had just got home in. ‘Oh shit’ she thought, ‘I swear I had some money in this drawer! Damn it, oh well Mikey is bound to have some in his room, he is always moaning about having too much change!’  
  
She ran up the stairs to Mikey’s room and found that he was out. ‘Oh he won’t mind’ she thought as she searched through his things for change. She opened his bedside drawer and whilst rummaging through it a piece of paper caught her eye.  
  
That night Donna found a letter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

Frank and Gerard lay in bed together for what seemed like hours, neither saying a word. They were still hot and sweaty, their breathing slowly dying down to it’s natural speed.  
  
Gerard pulled himself up so he could look down at Frank. He was so beautiful, his dark brown hair stuck slightly to his face after their passionate clinch.  
  
"Please be with me always Frank" Gerard suddenly whispered.  
  
"I would never leave you Gee" Frank replied, gently pushing Gerard’s falling hair out of his eyes.  
  
"But don’t you see, I will get old and you’ll remain the same. You have to make me what you are! I want to be with you… forever".  
  
Frank pushed himself up now so he was sitting. He looked down for a moment then back into Gerard’s hazel eyes.  
  
"I just can’t do that" he replied, his voice cracking. "I would never want to take you away from the world, not because of my own loneliness. That would be selfish! You think you are lonely now? Well, imagine that for eternity!"  
  
Gerard held back his tears, he had to get his point across without breaking down.  
  
"You don’t understand Frank! I live for the night already just so I can see you! I hate the day, it’s when I feel sick with isolation! I have to face the constant disgust and hostility of my so called family! You are all I have to live for! If it wasn’t for you I’d be cold and dead now!"  
  
Frank took a deep breath. His mind raced with thoughts. He loved Gerard, even if he had not told him. He just couldn’t do this.  
  
"But can’t you see? You are asking me to cancel out all that I have done for you. You are asking me to make you cold and dead! I just can’t do it! I know what it feels like! I don’t want to loose you Gerard, but you cannot ask me to do this please…. please...I love you!"  
  
Gerard was close to tears now. He didn’t know whether to feel gutted that Frank would not turn him or feel amazing as he had just told him that he loved him. He composed himself slowly. Maybe he was being selfish asking this of Frank. They had only known each other a few days anyway. He moved his face closer to Franks again and kissed him softly.  
  
"I love you too Frank"  
  
.......................................

  
  
Gerard woke again to find no sign of Frank. It was kind of irritating that he would never be there when he woke. It was almost like he was an amazing dream that he would have every night. If only he could be with him all the time.  
  
He shook the thought out of his head. There was no point getting upset about things that he couldn’t change. He slid out of bed and soon his head was full of X-rated flashbacks. He let a small giggle escape from his mouth as he saw his jeans and boxers strewn across the room. God it was an amazing night.  
  
He slowly made his way out of his room, hoping Mikey would not catch him again. All was quiet.  
  
Maybe he went out early or something, Gerard thought. Thank god!  
  
He reluctantly had a shower, it seemed a shame to wash all of Franks smell away but to others he probably just stunk! After he’d cleaned up he chucked on some clothes, black tight jeans and a black T-shirt - as usual!  
  
He felt his stomach rumble. Then he realised he hadn’t eaten much in the last few days. He had been sick of seeing Mikey and his mum so had locked himself in his room pretty much, only eating a few crisps.  
  
As he headed down the stairs towards the kitchen he suddenly realised that the whole house was completely quiet. How weird, Gerard thought. Normally his mum would always be up by now, watching some trashy chat show. Or she would be shouting obscenities at him, like how he was a waste of space and nothing compared to Mikey!  
  
He turned the corner to enter the kitchen and fell to his knees, shaking at the sight before him.  
  
He emptied what little contents his stomach contained all over the floor.

.............................................

 

Gerard just stared at the floor where he had just been sick. He didn’t want to look up and face the scene that awaited him. He felt the tears run down his face before he could even comprehend what had occurred.  
  
Blood. Everywhere.  
  
That’s all he could see when he gathered all his courage and lifted his eyes. The white tiled floor was covered in the deep red liquid. There were plates smashed on the floor too. And bloody smears along the pale cabinets. A fresh green apple sat alone in amongst the pool of blood. A beautiful contrast at any other moment. Not now.  
  
Gerard managed to push himself up on his knees. He felt like everything was in slow motion. He couldn’t hear his rushed breaths. He couldn’t feel his shaking hands. He couldn’t hear his muffled sobs. He slowly pulled himself up to stand, using a chair that had obviously been thrown there in the struggle. But he didn’t know there had been a struggle. He had not scene the source of all this mess yet. He moved forward. It felt as though he was gliding on air. He slowly moved towards the kitchen table that had blocked most of his view. As he peered over it he felt his stomach retch again. He turned his head and let himself hurl again. He winced at the pain as his stomach was completely empty now.  
  
There in amongst the pool of crimson blood lay his mother. Her throat cut.  
  
Gerard’s eyes now burned with tears. Time stood still. He felt himself move forward and kneel down next to the woman that tormented him for so long.  
  
God he had hated her. But never, never did he want her dead. All he wanted was to escape her. Her and Mikey. He would have chosen his own death over hers. He did. It was only Frank that had stopped him completing the task.  
  
Sanity came back to him like a cold slap in the face. This is a crime scene he thought to himself. I can’t even touch her. I need to get the police, now!  
  
Gerard rushed to the phone, staggering a bit, feeling the weakness this trauma had thrust upon him.  
  
‘Shit!’ Gerard whispered to himself.  
  
He tried several times in desperation. No. The phone line was dead.  
  
All he could do was sink to his knees and cry.

................................................

 

Gerard sat there crying for what seemed like hours. Then he heard a noise.  
  
It started as a muffled sniffling, then he heard footsteps. His body tensed in fear. Maybe the killer was coming back.  
  
He looked up to see Mikey enter the room, his eyes red with sorrow. Mikey saw Gerard and ran towards him, collapsed at his feet. Load moans filled the room as Mikey cried harder than Gerard knew anyone could.  
  
"Mum" Gerard heard Mikey cry. His heart broke. Mikey was only 17. No matter how much he hated him he couldn’t bear to hear him cry.  
  
"I heard it" He sobbed. Gerard jerked his head up. He needed to hear what Mikey had heard. Maybe it could explain what had happened.  
  
"I heard you. You and that guy. All night" Mikey looked up. His tear stained eyes met Gerard’s.  
  
"I heard everything Gerard. I know you love him."  
  
Gerard just stayed silent. He didn’t know what he could say to this. Anyway, what did this have to do with what had happened!!  
  
"Did you think I was deaf?! You were hardly quiet! You fucked him!! God, I always thought you were a fag but why did you feel the need to let the whole neighbourhood find out!!!"  
  
"What the fuck! Why bring this up now Mikey?" Gerard shouted.  
  
"Good question" Mikey sniffed. " I couldn’t believe you were doing what you were doing. So I stayed awake. I was going to confront the guy if he left. Anyway, it was nearly 4am and I heard a noise so I opened my door slightly and followed him downstairs…"  
  
Gerard shuffled with nerves, he didn’t like where this was going.  
  
"Anyway, I listened for a while. I could hear muffled talking. It was your guy and mum!"  
  
"You mean Frank" Gerard replied sharply.  
  
"Yeah…OK…Frank! Anyway! This went on for a few minutes then I hear their conversation grow in volume."  
  
Gerard swallowed hard.  
  
"There was screaming and shouting. I couldn’t make out what they said but then I heard a plate smash. I tried to run down as fast as I could but I was just too late, he was gone and mum was led there… dead!:  
  
Gerard felt a chill run down his spine. Frank wouldn’t do this to him. He couldn’t believe it.  
  
"I just hid. I was scared he would come back" Mikey said shaking.  
  
"He… he.. is a vampire" Gerard replied looking at the floor.  
  
"I believe you… I’m sorry for everything… I’m sorry I ever doubted you" Mikey cried, resting his head in Gerard’s lap.  
  
Gerard’s mind raced ‘I thought Frank loved me. Maybe it was all a front. I don’t know. Maybe Mikey is lying… no… he would never hurt mum. But… it just doesn’t make sense!’

..........................................................

 

Gerard opened his eyes sleepily. Reality rushed back to him like a slap in the face. His mum was dead. And not just dead. Brutally murdered, and according to Mikey, by the hand of his lover Frank.  
  
He blinked his eyes in disbelief at the situation he found himself in. He wished that it was all a dream, and that he had opened his eyes to the familiar sight of his bedroom. Things would be as they should be. He would walk downstairs to the usual hurtful taunts and comments of Mikey and his mother.  
  
Unfortunately things were not how they should be.  
  
Gerard lifted his wrist and looked at his trusty old watch. It was 8pm. He must have been asleep for a while. He blamed the shock of all that had happened.  
  
Mikey still rested his head on Gerard’s shoulder. He could feel and hear him sleepily breathing against him. Could he trust the one person that had made his life a living hell these last few years? Yet how could he doubt his own flesh and blood?  
  
Before he had time to contemplate these thoughts he heard the familiar sound of his bedroom door opening.  
  
It must be Frank. Oh my god. What do I do? I just don’t know who to trust. Blood or love?  
  
Gerard felt himself physically shaking as he heard Franks heavy footsteps making their way down the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written from Gerard's POV

**Chapter seven**

Gerard's POV  
  
It seems as though footsteps descend the stairs for hours. They seem to match the beating of my own heavy heart. As Frank enters the room I feel my eyes automatically drawn to face him.  
  
Beauty is not the word. Before meeting Frank I had never thought that a guy could be described as beautiful at all. But Frank had violently shaken me from that presumption. Frank is beauty itself. No he is more than that, and there are no words in this world to describe him. He is stunning. He is Frank.  
  
Although the room is dark Frank’s eyes seem to glow like gold nuggets. I feel my heart skip a beat, just like the first time I had seen him, only it sank again at the memory of what Mikey had just told me.  
  
I watch silently as Frank’s eyes widen. He had seen it. The murder scene. It’s dark but no doubt Frank has little problem seeing at this late hour.  
  
I still love him; there’s no doubt about that. He looks so sincere as he rushes down the stairs, jumping over the banister with ease. He runs over to me asking how this has come to pass.  
  
I cannot answer him.  
  
I truly cannot believe that he could do this.  
  
But doubt claws at my now broken heart.  
  
Frank is shaking me. I know that much. His worried eyes are just inches from my own. I can see him speaking to me but everything is silent. All I can hear are my own confused thoughts running through my head; everything that I had seen, all that Mikey had told me and all that I thought I knew about Frank.  
  
Whatever has happened here I now realise one painful truth. Either my lover or my own brother has killed her. It’s just too difficult to comprehend, especially when they are both acting so innocent. I tell you one of them is a seriously twisted fuck! I feel like I am living in a nightmare. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion and I feel as though I have no control over myself.  
  
I feel a lump form in my throat and I think I’m gonna be sick again. But instead I scream. I just scream as loud as I can and watch as Mikey, who was previously asleep next to me, jumps up in shock. Frank also leaps up and darts away from me. It’s kind of funny really. They are both starring at me in terror, why? I’m not the killer here!!  
  
I scramble to my feet and just stare at them both wide eyed. Mikey is stood to my left and Frank is to my right. They both look too scared to even move.  
  
If I could think of a reason why either one of them would do this at least I could try and understand it. There just doesn’t seem to be one though.  
  
Mikey and mum got on so well. She would have given him anything, he was her golden child. He could do no wrong in her eyes. Christ, if either of us had any reason to kill her it was me!!  
  
And Frank. I know he’s a vampire and all but if he killed her why would he slit her throat? And by the looks of the scene that will be permanently etched in my mind there had been a struggle. Frank could have killed her before she could even have time to blink.  
  
I feel the tears well in my eyes.  
  
“Why?” is all I manage to ask.  
  
And as I blink the tears begin to fall.

**.......................................................**

  
  
I feel the tears fall down my face as I just stare at Mikey and Frank. I can’t talk, I just listen.  
  
Mikey steps towards me "It was him Gee, I told you what I heard. He killed her."  
  
He looks at me with sad eyes. I just feel sick again.  
  
I hear a cold laugh come from behind him. It’s Frank.  
  
"You can’t really believe this Gerard. I would never even think of doing such a thing. I know I’m a monster, you don’t have to remind me. I just…. if I do kill, it’s only cause I have to. For food I mean. And I would never hurt you Gerard… I promise!!"  
  
Mikey looks at Frank. They both look so angry. I wish I could feel something. I feel numb.  
  
"He’s lying Gee, I heard it all. He’s the monster here! Why would I kill her? She’s my mother!!!"  
  
Frank moves towards me now, completely ignoring Mikey.  
  
"Something’s not right here… he is… hiding something Gee." Frank says, his face full of concern. "Remember I said that I can read minds slightly. I’m not strong at it as I’m so young but… well I don’t know for sure but… something is up… I just know it."  
  
Mikey pushes in front of Frank. He holds on to my shoulders. I just stare at him blankly.  
  
"Don’t listen to him Gerard!! He’s just playing his stupid games again. Like fuck he can read my mind. It’s all just lies!!! I’m your brother Gerard - trust me, not him!!!!"  
  
What can I do. I don’t know who to trust. I just cry. God, I’m pathetic!  
  
"There’s a note" Frank suddenly says quietly.  
  
Mikey suddenly snaps round to face Frank, still holding onto me.  
  
"What?" I say. I didn’t even know I had said it but I heard it.  
  
"Yes… there is a note" Frank says again. "I don’t know what it is exactly but it’s all I could read from him"  
  
"Whatever Frank!" Mikey shouts letting go of me "A note… whoopty fucking doo!!!! What the fuck are you talking about? Gerard don’t listen to him. Whatever he is going on about is fucking bullshit!!!"  
  
Frank just stares blankly at Mikey then looks back at me.  
  
"Gerard you have to believe me… I think… something is just not right here. I swear to you I did not do this"  
  
"How can I trust either of you. I love you both but one of you is lying and I don’t know who I can trust!!!" I yell as more tears fall down my face.  
  
"I…I.. don’t know how I can make you trust me Gerard. Just know that… I love you" Frank says pleadingly.  
  
I see Mikey turn to properly face Frank now. He raises his hands and yells at him.  
  
"Oh Christ!!! You make me sick you know that… you don’t love him! You’ve only known him for a few days! I heard what you did last night - I heard you kill our mother you bastard!!!"  
  
Frank just stares at him in disbelief. Then I watch as his expression changes. He looks angry now.  
  
"Don’t you dare tell me that I don’t love him!" Frank growls "from what I’ve heard about you I am the only one here who loves Gerard. And you can shout all night about how you heard me kill your mother but you and I both know that that is a lie. All it does is make me more determined to prove that you are a lying, sick… oh and yeah… murderous bastard!!"  
  
What do I do? Do I try and settle the situation? They are gonna kill each other if I don’t step in. I try to move but I can’t. Shit. I think I’m in shock or something. Fuck!  
  
"Don’t you dare talk to me like that!" Mikey suddenly shouts "You’re nobody but a fucked up psycho!" And with that he lungs forward at Frank with a fierce look on his face.  
  
I just watch helplessly. It all looks as though it is in slow motion. Mikey slowly runs towards Frank. Frank just stands there watching him. Mikey grabs hold of Frank by the collar. Frank quickly pulls something from Mikey’s pocket and easily tosses him aside. Like he was as light as paper.  
  
I blink trying to snap out of this trance that I’m in. I look at Frank who is unraveling a crumpled piece of paper. Then I look at Mikey. He is now on the floor staring up at Frank with wide eyes. A slight sheen of sweat on his forehead.

**.......................................................**

  
  
"I… I’m so sorry Gerard" Frank suddenly stutters.  
  
I look straight into his perfect hazel eyes. I know whatever he is gonna say is not going to be good.  
  
"W… Why?" I ask.  
  
"Just… just read this" he walks towards me and hands me the paper he just pulled from Mikey’s pocket.  
  
"Don’t listen to him Gerard. It’s all part of his game!" Mikey yells at me from the floor. He looks terrified.  
  
I ignore him. I need to read this.  
  
I look down at the crumpled paper I suddenly feel my heart break again, if that is possible. I know the handwriting.  
  
With tears in my eyes, I read.  
  
_Gerard,_  
  
_I love you. I loved you from the moment I first saw you, and I love you even now in my final moments. You mean everything to me and I want you to know that I am so sorry it has to be this way. I wanted to grow old with you, fulfill all the dreams that we had. But that can never be now, because of him._  
  
_I want you to know that I fought him. I tried my hardest I swear I did. But he was too strong. I screamed and screamed but no one was there to hear me. And I cannot get over it. I smell him on me. I feel the pain constantly, physical and mental. And I see the smirk on his face as he did it, as he raped me. He even told me I deserved it. Perhaps I did._  
  
_And this is why I have to end it. I need to make this feeling go away. I’m so sorry and I will love you forever, but this is the only way to get Mikey’s sick smiling face out of my head._  
  
_So long and goodnight._  
  
_Love always, Danielle xxx_  
  
_P.S. I leave this on your pillow in the hope that you get it before he does. Find love again… for me._  
  
The ink on the last line suddenly blurred as a tear fell onto it.  
  
All this time.  
  
There was no note.  
  
He had it.  
  
Mikey had it.  
  
Mikey raped her.  
  
Mikey killed her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Gerard's POV

**Chapter eight**

Gerard's POV  
  
"I…I…." Words seem to escape me at this moment. It hurts to even breath.  
  
The room is silent. Even that sounds too loud.  
  
Mikey raped Danielle. He drove her to kill herself. What can I say? What can I do? Again I am frozen.  
  
I stare back down at the crumpled note. I suppose I hope that I have made a mistake. That this is all fake. Some kind of joke… all of it. But I know it isn’t. Unfortunately.  
  
A shiver runs down my spine as I remember Mikey at her funeral. He held me as I cried. How could he do that? How could he look me in the eyes through it all? Tell me I’d get over it?  
  
"I’m… sorry" Frank says breaking my thoughts.  
  
I look up at him. How amazing he looks. And that’s when I start crying. Hard. I can’t stop myself.  
  
Mikey steps forward. "Don’t believe any of it Gerard. It’s all bullshit! I was set up. Yeah… Frank… he set me up. This is another one of his twisted games!"  
  
There is no emotion in his voice. I sink to the floor helpless. I just cry. I let it all out. It all hurts so much. I can’t take it any more. I know I’m being pathetic but I just can’t stand any of this.  
  
I feel a hand touch my shoulder and look up. Frank is trying to comfort me. He crouches down and looks at me with his beautiful eyes. He pushes my hair from my tearful eyes.  
  
"He did this Gee, I know he did. I can feel it. We need to get out of here. Now."  
  
I look from him to Mikey. He is just staring at us blankly. There is no emotion at all. He looks more dead then Frank!  
  
Something serge’s through me. I can feel it. I snap.  
  
I push myself up to stand and walk closer to Mikey with a new strength.  
  
"You fucking bastard" I quietly say looking him dead in the eyes.  
  
"What?" Mikey replies with a confused frown.

**...................................................**

  
  
From somewhere in my soul I have gained strength and I believe Frank has helped me.  
  
"Don’t you dare say fucking what? to me you… rapist!!!"  
  
Mikey just looks at me like I am a lunatic. I suppose I am after all this shit!  
  
"How could you do this to me? To her? She was only 18 you sick bastard!!! Why? Why did you do it?"  
  
I look at him with disgust. He stares back. Then he changes. His weight shifts from one foot to the other, his eyes slowly seem to focus on me and his mouth curves into a smirk.  
  
"You want to know why Gerard?" Mikey suddenly says with that same tone that had taunted me for all these months. "…I suppose… because I could"  
  
I swear my jaw just dropped.  
  
"What the fuck Mikey" I shout. "Anyone fucking could if they wanted to. That’s life. That can’t be the real reason?"  
  
"She was no good for you Gerard!" he suddenly shouts. "What she wrote, that was a load of crap! She loved it! She wanted me. It was all for you I swear. I tested her. And she failed."  
  
All I can do is hold back the tears. "What do you mean?"  
  
"She may have been screaming no but I knew she loved it. She screamed my name as she came Gee, not yours!"  
  
Frank tugs at my sleeve "lets just go Gerard, please"  
  
"NO!" I pull out of his grasp. "I want to hear what he has to say"  
  
"You want to hear it? OK. I got home one day, I walked past your room and saw something on your pillow. I went to look. It was the note. I took it. It was all a load of shit anyway and it wouldn’t have done you any good. I was just looking out for you really" Mikey explains as he places his hand on my shoulder. " I just thought she was being a typical dumb bitch till I heard that she actually did it! Then it was just kind of funny!"  
  
Mikey laughs slightly. He fucking laughs.  
  
"And…." I gulp "…what about mum?"  
  
"Well…" he starts looking at the floor "she found the note. What could I do? She was gonna call the cops on me. I mean… me! You say she worshipped me yet she was gonna fucking shop me!! I had to deal with it!!"  
  
He did it. He killed mum. Oh god.  
  
"But you can understand right? I’m your brother. You have to understand that I did this all for you. It was all for the best!"  
  
"How can you say raping my girlfriend and killing our mother was for the best Mikey??!!!" I scream.  
  
"It was" he says. He comes closer and strokes his fingers down my face. What the fuck is going on!  
  
"Just get the fuck away from me" I push his hand away. I cannot let him touch me. Ever again!  
  
"How could you do that to your own fucking brother?" Frank suddenly yells.  
  
Mikey snaps to face him. His face changing to malice again.  
  
"I should kill you now for what you have done. You are evil Mikey! Or fucking mental! How you can call yourself a brother after the way you have treated Gerard is beyond me! They call me a monster… but… you’re the fucking monster here!"  
  
I watch as Mikey turns and walks towards Frank.  
  
"Shut the fuck up Frank! You have no idea what you are talking about! How long have you known Gerard? A few days? I’ve known him 19 fucking years!!!"  
  
"I don’t give a fuck how long I’ve known him. All I know is that I have made him happier than you ever have. I saw all you have done to him. I can read him. He is open to me. He loves me. And I love him."  
  
At that comment Mikey seems to change. Without warning he lunges for the kitchen drawer. Only we know what it contains. A gun.  
  
I need to do something about this. Everything is going fucking crazy!  
  
"Look Mikey. We can talk about this sensibly" I say, even though inside I am tearing apart! I know I can’t forgive him but I need to calm him down. Mikey’s eyes stay fixed on Frank.  
  
"You may be able to fool Gee with your sick fucking lies about being a vampire but I’m the sane one here! You don’t deserve him… just like Danielle! You’re a sick fuck Frank… rot in hell!!!"  
  
Mikey raises the gun. He points it square at Frank. My mind goes blank. I know Frank can’t be harmed by a gun, but I guess it’s human nature to protect the one you love.  
  
"So long Frank" Mikey laughs.  
  
I jump in front of Mikey’s deadly bullet.

.....................................................

 

  
I fall to the floor hard. Everything is silent.  
  
I roll onto my back and see Mikey staring at me from across the room. His eyes are wide and he looks frozen and pale. Frankie runs towards me. Everything looks like its in slow motion.  
  
I feel tired.  
  
Frank’s knelt down beside me now. He looks so worried. He’s stroking my face and telling me that everything is going to be fine. What is he talking about? I don’t know what is going on. My mind is fuzzy. I feel like I’m drunk… you know… when you just feel numb. Why does he look like he’s going to cry?  
  
I watch his terrified eyes trail down from my face, over my chest, to my stomach. A small whimper escapes from his beautiful lips. He’s scaring me now, what the hell is going on?  
  
I reach down to feel my stomach. My arms feel so heavy. God, I am so tired. Hey, wait a minute, why the hell am I wet? I struggle to lift my hands up and when I finally manage to focus my drowsy eyes a cold chill runs through me.  
  
Blood. Shit. Now I remember.  
  
I got shot.  
  
I look up at Frankie. Tears are starting to slowly fall down his cheeks now. The room is dark but he still looks so beautiful. I don’t like to see him cry. He’s always been the strong one. He holds onto my bloody hand with both of his. He strokes his thumb along the back of my hand gently.  
  
"Everything is going to be fine Gee. You’ll see" he says. His voice is trembling.  
  
I just smile at him weakly. We both know this isn’t going to be fine. I don’t feel any pain and I’m pretty sure that’s a really bad sign.  
  
"I’m cold Frank"  
  
I watch as he slips his jacket off and gently places it over me. I’m still cold.  
  
"You’ve just got to hang on Gerard. I know you can do it. It’s you and me remember. Always"  
  
His voice is broken with sobs now. I can tell he is trying to be strong but it really isn’t working. He leans in close and kisses my lips gently.  
  
"I suppose it’s better this way" I say "This day would have come in the end anyway, remember. I was meant to die in your arms"  
  
"Don’t say that! You are not going to die!"  
  
I can see his lip trembling now. I know I’m dying. I’m so tired. I just want to close my eyes but then I’ll never see Frank again. I feel tears well in my eyes.  
  
"I just wish I had been given more time with you. I love you Frankie. I always will."  
  
"I love you Gerard. You can’t go. Don’t leave me, not like this!"  
  
He kisses my head and face all over. I wish I could feel his soft touch for the last time but life is slowly leaving me now.  
  
"I can never th..thank you enough Frank… be..because of you I…I lost my fear of falling"  
  
I’m struggling to keep awake now. I’m so cold.  
  
"No.. Gerard… please don’t go"  
  
"I will be with you" I whisper.  
  
Then my eyes finally close.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter nine  
**

  
The room was dark. Only the dim lights from the hall lit the living room. Gerard lay in a pool of blood.  
  
"I will be with you..." he whispered.  
  
The room was completely silent. Mikey stood still across the room watching his dying brother. Frank was knelt at his lovers side. His heart, if he still had one, was breaking.  
  
"No Gerard. You have to make it. It’s you and me. You know it is. Come on. Gerard… GERARD!"  
  
Gerard’s eyes slowly slipped shut.  
  
Frank stared helplessly. He grabbed Gerard by the shoulders and shook him gently. Nothing. He shook him harder. Still nothing.  
  
"No, Gerard. You have to fight. Come on. You’re strong, I know it! Come on. Please… for me" Frank cried.  
  
Still nothing.  
  
Tears streamed down Franks cheeks. He cried for the first time since he was turned. He believed that vampires couldn’t cry, couldn’t mourn. How wrong he was. It started as slight tears, he had forgotten what it had felt like. The tears turned into heartbreaking sobs. Never had he cried like this, even when he was human.  
  
He watched as a tear fell onto Gerard’s neck. It slowly trickled down over his throat. he watched it and soon realised that the rising and falling of Gerard’s neck was slowing, fast. He was dying.  
  
This was it. He had to make a decision. He could save Gerard, but that could mean an eternity of regret. What a decision to make in a few minutes. He heard a voice in his head… ‘Did you come to stare… or wash away the blood?’. He knew there was only one thing to do.  
  
He took a deep breath. Slowly he knelt down, he would save Gerard with his own deadly bite.  
  
BANG!  
  
Frank felt himself fall backwards. He grasped his shoulder, blood. He looked up. Mikey stood over him, his eyes had changed again. These were full of rage and hatred.  
  
"Keep your filthy hands of my fucking brother!" Mikey yelled. He held the gun in his hands. It was pointed at Franks head.  
  
"I’m saving him! Do you want to watch him die?" Frank replied clutching at his shoulder.  
  
"I’d rather him die than be a fucking fag… if I’m honest! Truth be told, this isn’t exactly how I planned it, but at least this way I get everything. The house, the money…everything! I mean …Gerard and mum are dead so… I suppose… this is a blessing in disguise".  
  
Frank could feel his would healing, the bullet slowly being pushed out of his flesh as the bullet hole closed. He decided to play along for a bit. He winced, pretending he felt a mortals pain.  
  
"You make me sick Frank. It’s all your fault… all that has happened here. You should never have touched Gerard. You changed him. You’ve infected him! It’s not right, you’re not right. You need to die! I was aiming for you, but you know Gee, he’s a fucking drama queen! Oh well, his ‘I’m-gonna-be-a-hero-and-jump-infront-of-this-bullet’ act has finished him off. Suppose it saves me another job in the future. There was no way I could have put up with his wining about mum all the time. Christ can you imagine!"  
  
Frank watched in disgust, his stomach was doing somersaults. How could Mikey say something like that about Gerard, about his own brother. Then his mind slipped back. Time was ticking. He had to make this quick, or Gerard would die.  
  
"And that little goodbye scene back there, how heart wrenching! I swear I was nearly sick!" Mikey spat.  
  
"You don’t know what you’re saying Mikey, you obviously need help!" Frank reasoned. He really did believe that Mikey was seriously disturbed.  
  
Mikey laughed.  
  
"Shut your fucking mouth Frank… how can you say I’m crazy??? You think you’re a fucking vampire!"  
  
Frank stood up slowly. The bullet that had just entered his shoulder dropped to the floor with a loud clinking sound. Mikey’s eyes watched the bullet roll slowly towards him, only stopping once it had hit his foot.  
  
"What the…" Mikey started.  
  
Frank pulled the collar of his shirt down to expose the healed skin.  
  
"See… I’m no liar Mikey. I am a vampire" Frank exclaimed with a smirk on his lips.  
  
Mikey stared wide eyed and stepped back slightly.  
  
"Shit…" he mumbled.

**....................................................**

 

Mikey stepped back slightly, panic flickered over his face as Frank slowly neared him.  
  
"It’s not true…" he said uncertain.  
  
Frank smirk turned to a smile.  
  
"Yeah sure Mikey. You just shot me and now I’m fine. It’s a miracle!!" he shouted, crazed, angry, out for revenge.  
  
Franks violent eyes locked with Mikey’s. He was like a hunter staring out its prey. Frank had never felt rage like this before. He felt the blood in his veins boil. He was glad he had eaten well before arriving here tonight. His body filled with the heat that he so long had tried to subdue. He let the killer within surface. Someone would die tonight and there was no way that that someone would be Gerard.  
  
"I missed is all, vampire’s don’t exist!!!" Mikey shouted. He stood still, trying to look unafraid but Frank could smell his fear and a laugh broke from his lips.  
  
"Shoot me again then…" he opened his shirt to reveal his bear chest "...I dare you!"  
  
Mikey shakily raised the gun, pointed it square at Frank and pulled the trigger. It hit Frank straight in the chest. Frank stumbled slightly then stood up straight lifting his eyes again to watch Mikey’s face as his chest healed and the bullet fell to the floor.  
  
"No…no… this isn’t happening" Mikey mumbled to himself.  
  
He turned to run but before he could even take a step Frank was in front of him.  
  
"Best believe it Mikey. It’s happening. And I’m going to enjoy watching you break!"  
  
Frank pushed Mikey with one hand sending him crashing backwards and into the wall. He howled as pain shot through his body, sinking to the floor.  
  
"How could you Mikey? How could you do this to your own family? You selfish bastard!!!!"  
  
With one swing of his hand he hit Mikey in the jaw and heard a crunch. Mikey spat blood onto the floor. He looked up at Frank blankly.  
  
"Kill me then Frank, if that’s what you want. But what would Gerard think? You killing his own brother??"  
  
"Do you know what Mikey… I couldn’t give a shit!! If I don’t kill you he’ll die anyway and I really think that I’m doing the whole world a favour getting rid of a worthless piece of scum like you!!!"  
  
He really didn’t care anymore. He could smell Mikey’s blood and he was hungry! He grabbed Mikey by the throat and dragged him up the wall till his feet were barely touching the floor.  
  
"P..please…..don’t…hurt…me….I…I’m sorry" Mikey coughed.  
  
"It’s too late for apologies Mikey…" Frank spat "and you know I’d love to stay and chat, really I would… but you know… time flies and I have more pressing matters at hand!"  
  
"But…. But….." Mikey struggled.  
  
"Oh just shut the fuck up already" Frank mumbled. He tightened his grip on Mikey’s neck and closed the gap. He clamped his mouth around his throat and bite through his flesh with ease. He ripped a chunk out of Mikey’s neck and barely registered his dying screams and the blood sprayed into his mouth. Warm… delicious… justice.

**.............................................................**

 

It was like nothing he had ever felt or tasted before. He could feel Mikey’s blood run through every vain in his body. It was like a wave of hot ecstasy flowing from his fingers right down to his toes. He shuddered at the sheer pleasure of it. Why did it taste so good? Never had a kill before felt more fulfilling. He couldn’t stop feeding.  
  
He took a hard grasp of Mikey’s hair and sunk his teeth even deeper into the already open wound. He didn’t want this to end. A primal instinct had taken over Frank and was not letting go.  
  
The warm blood soon seemed to turn cold. Frank new he had to stop drinking - dead blood equaled death to a vampire. With all his strength and will he threw himself back and off the corpse. His head spun with euphoria. He felt amazing.  
  
Slowly he felt the buzz die. He felt his stomach retch with the return of reality. Still his mind was hazy. He looked around the darkened room in a drunken haze. There across the room lay Gerard in a pool of blood. Humanity can back to him like a hard smack in the face. Here he had been basking in the delight of feeding on his love’s brother whilst his love lay dying!! What the hell was he doing!  
  
Panic set in. Was he even alive? He rushed over to Gerard’s side, hoping that he hadn’t just ruined everything in his selfishness. How much time did he waste with his own blood lust?  
  
He put his shaking hand onto Gerard’s chest, waiting for any sign that he was alive. Nothing. Frank’s head swam with guilt. How could he have done this. This was his fault! Then suddenly he felt a heartbeat, it was faint but it was there. The guilt was now overshadowed with hope. He knew what he had to do.  
  
He leaned across Gerard’s body and tenderly kissed his lips.  
  
"I hope this is what you want" Frank whispered.  
  
He kissed slowly down Gerard’s neck until he felt the pulse of his throat against his lips. He hesitated for a second. This had to be done. He couldn’t be without him. After a last soft kiss he bit down. Frank knew he had to drain Gerard but as there was not much blood left in him he drank extremely slowly. Again the taste was like heaven but his love was stronger than blood lust now. He finished quick and sat back ready for stage two.  
  
Frank lifted his own wrist to his fangs. One rip and his veins were exposed, vampiric blood flowing freely. He placed his wrist above Gerard’s lips, letting the blood drip into his mouth. Gerard doesn’t even flinch. Frank feels the pain of panic rush through him once more. What if he was too late? What if he drained too much? What if Gerard was… dead?  
  
He pushed his wrist closer to Gerard’s mouth.  
  
"Please Gerard… you’ve got to drink… please… just do it… for me…"  
  
The silence of the room seemed to drown Frank in despair. Then suddenly Gerard moved. Frank watched as he slowly licked the blood that had covered his lips. He moaned. Did he moan?  
  
Without opening his eyes Gerard held onto Franks wrist, pulling it closer until his mouth enclosed the bleeding wound. The moans increased as Gerard fed. Frank sighed in relief. Gerard would live… well… kind of.  
  
With every gulp Gerard’s grip on Frank seemed to tighten. Carefully he raised his body until he was sat up and hunched over, Frank’s wrist still pressed against his lips.  
  
Before Gerard could drink too much Frank slowly brought his wrist close to his own lips. As Gerard neared Frank drew his arm back and placed his own mouth over his lovers. At first Gerard seemed disappointed with the retreat of the warm fluid that had been his saviour. After a few seconds he seemed to relax into Franks mouth as their tongues played against each others.  
  
Frank held Gerard close, he knew what was about to happen. Suddenly Gerard lurched backwards, a piercing scream escaping him. Frank turned away…this was it… the full change.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter ten  
**

 

Gerard’s screams filled the otherwise silent room. Frank starred in silence; heartbroken. He had sworn that he would never inflict this curse on another. But he had. To someone he loved.  
  
He watched as Gerard seemed to glow in a shimmer of sweat. His breath increased in pain, his chest rising and falling fast. Frank wondered whose pain was greater.  
  
Another piercing scream escaped Gerard’s blood coated lips. He doubled over gripping his stomach, his face screwed up with agony. He pulled at his clothes as though trying to release the torturous grasp upon him. He looked as if he was dying. He was… at least physically.  
  
Frank placed a hand on Gerard’s shoulder, it was quickly pushed away. A lump formed in Frank’s throat. Had he done the right thing? He didn’t know. He had followed his heart, even if it had died a long time ago. He turned away at the pain he had inflicted on his love. Mikey’s bloodless body lay in the corner of the dark room.  
  
After what seemed like hours Gerard’s screams seemed to fade to whimpers. Frank turned his head to look at him again. Gerard’s pale skin seemed even paler, if possible. He looked so beautiful; ebony hair against ivory skin. He was dead.  
  
Frank felt a lump form in his throat and for the second time in his vampire life he shed a tear, a tear for Gerard, the human whom he had destroyed.  
  
Frank slowly inched forward. He carefully pushed the sweat drenched hair from Gerard’s face. He looked like the most beautiful picture you had ever seen, perfect in every way; charcoal and white chalk immaculately combined. Frank felt more nervous than ever as he started to stir.  
  
Slowly Gerard’s hand flinched. Then an arm. Then a leg. His eyes sluggishly flickered open. His beautiful hazel eyes had become even more magnificent. They were more green and bright; two bewitching emeralds now gazed up at Frank.  
  
Gerard grasped at Franks arm and gently lifted himself up to crouch beside him. Frank watched as he hazily scanned the room with his newly sharp vision, he felt sick with guilt. After a few minutes Gerard’s eyes found their way back to Frank’s. How many questions were asked in that one pleading look?  
  
Frank felt his stomach flip. How could he break the news that he was no longer alive, that he was forever undead? Furthermore, that he had just sucked his brother dry.  
  
He did the only thing he could do… he closed the gap between them and kissed, for the first time, his vampire lover.

**...........................................................**

 

Their kiss was deep and passionate. It was as if Gerard was searching for Frank’s soul; he would be disappointed. Frank was lost in the magical embrace, reality deserted him as he fell deeper and deeper into the enchanting embrace. His hands found the back of Gerard’s head, fingers weaving into raven hair. He pushed into Gerard deepening the kiss, soon he would be lost.  
  
Gerard’s pale hands found the small of Franks back in ecstasy. Slowly he let his fingers find their way to the front of Frank’s already tight jeans. Grasping the cold zip shaking Gerard slowly tried to find his way to his pleasure. Caught in the moment Frank gently pushed Gerard back until he was lying down on the blood stained floor. He pushed his hands up Gerard’s damp, torn top; feeling the healed skin that he had just doomed to a life of death.  
  
Yep, there was reality, smacking him hard in the face.  
  
"Gerard…" Frank mumbled, pulling away from Gerard’s flawless lips.  
  
"Mmmm, yeah?" Gerard asked taking in a breath. Frank felt the heaviness creep back into his stomach.  
  
"We can’t do this…. this…. this just isn’t right" he said, quietly.  
  
"Why? It feels so good, better than ever… Frankie… come on" Gerard’s hands reached for Frank again but Frank quickly grabbed him, pinning him to the spot.  
  
"Gerard, I.. I don’t quiet know how to say this…." he looked into Gerard’s perfect eyes, god, how was he going to say this "You, you’re…. dead" well, that was quiet blunt.  
  
Gerard just giggled slightly "What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"I’m not fucking around Gee, can you remember what just happened, I mean before we kissed?"  
  
The look in Frank’s eyes made Gerard hold back another laugh. Could he remember? Well he remembered fear… and then pain… and then…. oh god. It all came rushing back.  
  
"Oh fuck" Gerard whispered, still staring at Frank, wide eyed in shock.  
  
"I’m so sorry Gee, it…it was the only way… I swear" Frank stuttered, guilt rushing through every inch of him.  
  
Gerard seemed frozen. His mind was racing with information.  
  
"So…" he started "I… I’m a vampire now?" he asked.  
  
Frank lowered his head. "Yes" he answered. Would Gerard ever forgive him? This was it, the end….  
  
"Oh Frank" Gerard shouted "Now we can finally be together!"  
  
… of everything he had hoped for and… what? He was pleased? Thank god! Wait a second… he still doesn’t know the whole story!! Shit!!!

**............................................................**

 

"No!!!" Frank yelled pulling away.  
  
Gerard seemed frozen with his harsh tone.  
  
"What? Don’t… don’t you want us to be together?" Gerard asked nervously, holding back the tears forcing to spill from his eyes.  
  
Frank tried to soften slightly, he didn’t want to frighten Gerard, he needed him, that was the only thing he knew for certain in his crazy existence.  
  
"Of course I want us to be together, I love you Gee. I just can’t do this now… I …. Mikey.. he’s dead"  
  
All the hate Gerard had for his brother, all the times he wished him dead, he didn’t mean it, he was still his brother. Gerard felt grief overwhelm him at the utterance of those final words.  
  
"What.." Gerard managed to ask through sobs "what…. How?"  
  
Frank managed a dry swallow. "What do you remember?"  
  
Gerard strained, his mind was so foggy, he felt like he was trying to recall a drunken state.  
  
"I… I remember…" suddenly the fog started to clear "I remember mum… oh god… blood, the blood was everywhere. It was Mikey! He killed her… and then… then he shot me!"  
  
Gerard gasped as if in pain. He looked into Frank’s eyes, as though he was looking for confirmation or something, Frank wasn’t quite sure.  
  
"Yeah he shot you Gerard" is all Frank could say. Well, it was the only truth he could say. How could he tell him that he killed his brother in cold blood. He could have easily just knocked him unconscious to save Gerard. He knew what he had to do…lie.  
  
"I… I tried to help you… but he wouldn’t let me" Frank continued, trying to find some explanation in his mind.  
  
"And… and then… he… he pointed the gun at you again as you lay dying. I couldn’t let him kill you Gerard, I just couldn’t. He told me that we were disgusting, that you deserved to die! I tried my best to stop him, I really did. He… he just wouldn’t stop!"  
  
Gerard still hadn’t moved. He didn’t even look like he was breathing. He just stared into Franks big hazel eyes as if in some trance.  
  
"And, well, I stopped him, the only way I knew how. I’m so sorry Gee, I never meant to kill him. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…" Frank cried, repeating the same line.  
  
Gerard still hadn’t moved. Slowly he picked himself up to stand and look at the scene before him. In the corner lay his drained brother. Gerard slowly walked over to the corpse. He bent down to look directly into Mikey’s face. Gently he kissed his forehead.  
  
"We’re all dead now" he whispered to himself.  
  
Gerard quickly turned to Frank. He looked more pale than ever. He held out his had to help him up.  
  
Frank accepted and stood close to Gerard, how could he forgive him? Without thinking he stole a kiss.  
  
"I love you…" Frank softly mumbled.  
  
"I love you too" replied Gerard looking deep into Frank’s eye’s.  
  
Silently, hand in hand they exited the house, on the way to their new life.  
  
"To the end…" Gerard whispered.  
  
"Yeah…" Frank breathed, leaning in to kiss his love "to the end".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped you enjoyed this - if you did maybe comment? :)


End file.
